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A Letter to my High School Bullies

Dear High School Bullies,

The only way I can describe my time with you girls and guys in school would be ‘a living hell’. I was the quiet one, I was the one who spent most of my days at home instead of attending/being invited to house parties, I was the one who was always sat awkwardly when the teachers told you to get in pairs, I was the one who had to sit on my own during bus journeys because my ‘friends’ had better people to sit with, I was the one who was just either walked all over or was completely ignored as if I didn’t exist. I hated every waking moment because I knew that it would never get better, I would always be the girl everybody looked right through.

I never cared about my hair or my makeup for the first two years of high school, I brushed my hair and left it at that, no matter how ratty it still looked, I had never experimented with makeup and had no interest at the beginning so why would I ever think to put it on? I wasn’t loud and confident like the other students, I clung on to whichever groups I could just so I looked like I was in somewhere, even you didn’t necessarily want me there. I grew crushes on about 3 of the ‘popular’ guys throughout the years and when everybody found out you all responded to it like it was the most embarrassing thing in the world. Heck, we all grow high school crushes but there’s always that group of girls who wins everybody over from Year 7 and that’s it until you leave, it’s either date that group of girls or stay single.

You all only socialised with one another if you was pretty, good looking, confident, sociable, a teachers pet etc. and I was there to sit in a corner because I wasn’t any of them. Oh well. The ‘popular’ girls used me and acted like I was important, I felt like I finally had friends until I realised most of you girls were just having a bit of fun with me. My last year of school, I decided to just give up, I woke up in a morning, went to school, did my work and came straight home. Did any of yous realise? Probably not. I didn’t even attend my prom because I’d literally be walking in on my own, and probably have no one to speak too. Thinking back on it though, I wish I had gone just so I could get real dressed up, look bomb af and walk out there with a smile on my face. When people did take notice of me though, you’s don’t know how appreciative I was over that, after feeling so lonely for that long, just that one person who you never thought would acknowledge you, did.

However, all of that was 4 years ago, I am no longer the person I was in high school. I am a confident speaker around people. I don’t just stand around on a night out while my friends have fun, I join in. I have experimented with my hair and know how to turn it in to pretty styles now. I have incredible amounts of makeup experience and don’t look at all like I did in school. I wear outfits that I would’ve never have been able to pull off in high school, I show off more of my body and am confident in my body. People actually wanted to be friends with me, guys actually want to get to know me, and all you people I was stuck with all the way through high school are finally realising all of this. You acknowledge my existence and speak to me like we were best friends in school, (one time on a night out, I saw a group of guys I went to school with and one of them I used to despise, he despised me too and he gave me the biggest smile and wave and I was like???) these few guys I had a crush on seem to not exactly talk to me but suddenly you know who I am. You girls who didn’t speak one word to me, my entire time at school, all shout my name and get excited when you see me… Sorry but, don’t do that again.

I am a confident person because of you guys and I pretty much thank you all for that, you all taught me to just not give a f**k about what anyone says about me. Even though I have held a grudge on every single person who made my school life hell every day since I left school (2013), I can finally let go of that grudge and be civil. I know most of you are absolutely nothing like you were in high school, some of you may even regret the things you did to me or anybody else so why would I hang it over your head still? It wouldn’t be fair. Sure, I will never be nothing more than acquaintances to you all, as that’s all you’ll be to me, but there won’t ever be a moment where I start bringing up the past. If I see you guys on a night out, or at events, or just on the street, I’m not going to give you the full on death stare, I will gladly say hello and have a conversation. We’re all new people, we’ve gone on to college, university, work, we’ve met new people who have changed our aspects of life around completely, why would our bad school past-times be anything to us anymore?

To the handful of people who still see me as the girl I was in school, I probably didn’t like you anyway, so don’t worry, I’m over it.

little-mix-jade-thirlwall-shout-out-to-my-ex-over-it

Anyway, I’ve said what I have to say. You didn’t make my life great at all, but I have a big heart so I’m over it, we’re cool. I’m glad that most of you have grown in to better people than the ones I had to put up with.

Love your favourite person ever,

Shelby

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